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I don’t want a title.

You know what I hate? I hate when you really want something, perhaps more than anything in the world you want it, but you never do it or get it or make even an attempt because there is some excuse you can think of, some reason why you’d be hindered, either because you’re afraid or you think you can’t do it, or… just because. That’s what I hate about my dreams regarding photography. I see all these brilliant photographers and I want so much to be like them, or at least be able to barely express myself through photography, just see a little of my thoughts and mindset shining through, but all I can think about is how hard it’ll be and how much I couldn’t even imagine achieving anything like that, because it’s just so….. out there.

After all, I can hardly maintain a decent blog.

I hate to be all down and depressing, so… happy 2010! 8D Haha. …….Yeah.

Edit:
Oh yeah, and by the way, my epic idol:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nataliekucken/

She does all the stuff that I never do, with light and people and everything that makes an amazing, intricate photograph.

Well, being that I feel I owe Julie a great deal for telling me the hints that are contained in the wonderland known as Zoo Tycoon, and being that I feel greatly compelled not to write my poem for Spanish nor find 6-11 more sources for English and write notecards, I think that it is about time for another rambling blog post.
Right now I feel that I only really have the authority and awaked-ness to talk about one thing–happiness.
I am just so happy, and even though some people think that that is just so normal for me, it really isn’t. I just feel so, so amazing, and suddenly everything seems right, and, yes, I do realize I am just kidding myself, but, really, I think that is okay. What is happiness about anyway? I really do not know. But I do know that I am just so blissfully happy, and I wish I could spread it to you guys. I’d say that most of my personal happiness is derived from the fact that I love people (or at least I consider myself to). Yes, I absolutely get terribly irritated with many of them (often for stupid reasons), but when it comes down to it, there is NOTHING I would rather do than just BE with people. Especially my friends, of course. But what’s really important is that in order to be truly happy, I probably just had a conversation with somebody I love or some joke was made or whatever. I’m never terribly happy about anything not related to human interaction.
Now, I realize that all of this is just such a bore, so maybe I should go on and ramble about something else for a while.
………………………………………
Well, this is pretty related to the previous topic, but I would just like to say…

I AM GOING TO MISS MY BROTHER SO MUCH WHEN HE GOES TO COLLEGE NEXT YEAR.
He is responsible for about 50% or more of my happiness, and once he is gone things will just be dark and boring and UNHAPPY. Seriously. I can’t even believe it. I can’t imagine him not being around to laugh at me stupid jokes and write down the retarted things I say. WHAT WILL I DO?
Anyway, i feel that I should stop dwelling on that, since it will make me lose my happy, so maybe instead I will talk about… unicorns.

Recently my friend Hannah came to my house and made a clay unicorn. Unfortunately, promptly after being cooked and hardened, Frank’s very, very skinny horn came off. This is devastating. What is a unicorn without its horn? Just a gay horse, really. So I guess I will end up having to make Frank a new horn before poor Hannah gets too upset about it. I haven’t really planned what I am going to do about. Any suggestions? I am in dire need. Frank is upset, Hannah is upset, and FRANKLY, this whole ordeal is conflicting with my happy.

On the other hand, I really like lemon pound cake.

Nyah

Yes, I have been slacking a ridiculous amount lately, and like always, I haven’t updated. The thing is, I’ve been feeling very much like I haven’t a point to this whole “blog” thing, and that it’s just a waste of time, and that I’d rather be writing exciting stories or poetry or just random fictionalize mini-stories, or doing something else entirely, because nothing I write is exciting enough to entertain anyone. I’ve been thinking all this for about a week now, until today when I had to get on my blog to check the poem I posted over the summer to make sure it matched the copy on my computer. After I had cleared everything up, I was just kind of browsing around and I began to read some of my old blog posts, and was actually enjoying them. This is something I don’t really usually expect, but I guess I am pretty full of myself, so I’m not too surprised. For for the sake of being self-absorbed, I think I might just go right on blogging about my lame little adventures, even if it’s purely for the sake of my being to bored and brainless that I might actually enjoy reading this thing one day.

On that very boring note, I wanted to talk about what’s been going on lately.

Unfortunately, nothing.

Good night!

Daylight

Flicker
Today I sat down and learned Daylight (a.k.a. the most repetitious song ever created, next to “It’s the Song That Never Ends”) on the piano, or at least the first part. It took me about an hour to get it almost perfect (…). I have never ever spent more than 20 minutes by myself on the piano (that was my minimum for practice when I used to take lessons), so obviously it was apparent that carnival food is tainted after all. I knew that it was driving my mom crazy, because she kept calling from the other room, reminding me the different things I have to do, like clean the dining table. Later on, I was sitting next to her on the couch, still whistling this song, when she asked me what it was.
“‘Daylight.’ You hate it.”
“I hate it.”
Then she went to bed.

I don’t feel like thinking anymore. I just want to melt away to a land of pure euphoria where there’s no stress or… daytime television.

But what would become of my (two) readers? They would probably end up doing something better with their time, which I cannot allow.

So here’s some cool stuff I found lately.

In My Dreams,” a breathtaking photo by Hind Alnuaimi. You should check out her gallery.

Paris,” a beautiful oil painting by one of my favorite artists.

“APUSH”
This is amazing. End of story.

P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N

Dude, I never knew that word was so long.

I’m writing this because I don’t want to do Chem homework.

I love irony.  I just get SO much amusement out of things that are ironic. I guess it’s kind of symbolical to me, which I like because I have such a passion for drama and, oh, stuff like that…. Stuff that makes you think.

I don’t know. I’m just rambling.

So yesterday and Friday were the annual One-Acts at my highschool. I ushered at last night’s, and they were so amazing! The acting was superb, and the plots were really great. I love the theatre. :D The only setback is that… I’m sick! D: A perfect exhibit of my awful luck that I feel the need to complain about all the time. On Monday I’m going to be auditioning for the fall show, and I really hope I’m better by then.

Also, Friday night I went with some of my friends to go see Fame, which was actually really cool! It didn’t have that much of a plot, in my opinion, but the DANCING, oh, the dancing was amazing. I just love watching people dance, I guess. And movies like that always make me think about my dreams, and stuff. I mean, it’s pretty lame. Sometimes I just wonder if I’m going to get old and wonder if I had as much excitement in my life as I could have…

Anyway, I wanted to post some of the most amazing songs made ever so that you guys may scream in horror enjoy them. 8D

This is a beautiful song by Oren Lavie. The main tune is computer generated. I usually just listen to the song, but the video is very cool (and weird).

I also just heard one of Green Day’s newest songs Friday night, and I was SHOCKED. Apparently they’ve totally changed they’re style! I liked them a little bit before, but I am absolutely crazy about their new song 21 Guns (although after watching the video, I can tell there’s not much of a point to it). Still, totally win. C:

Finally, I wanted to mention this beautiful painting, “Forests of the Heart.”

I haven’t really been doing much lately, just dreaming up random projects I’ll never get around to and making little clay junk here and there. I might post some pictures sometime.

Academic Antagonism

Something terrible has happened, but we’re not sure what.

My Algebra teacher, Mr. Bobbitt, has suddenly diminished all deadlines and is attempting to create a looser atmosphere in all his classes. He explained it only by telling us that for years, parents (and others?) have been complaining about the difficulty and stress level that he subjects his students too, so that he was finally fed up with it, and was changing the policies. When someone asked if he was upset, he only replied that last week he was, but now he wasn’t. It struck me as super bizarre, because he seemed totally normal last week. Although in my class (2nd period) he seemed relatively composed while informing us of these new “rules”, if not near sarcastic, I heard from later classes that he seemed indisputably and undeniably SAD. Although some people are excited about these new policies (not me, I need the threat of a scary man getting mad at me to want to do homework; not that he’s scary or “gets mad,” really, he just has an intimidating air about him, as he should) a lot of us are kind of worried about him, it’s pretty weird.

But it was all worth it when I got to witness Andrew squealing with joy, and practically falling to the floor when we told him.

So, as you can guess, I spent quite some times ranting to my (poor, victimized) friends and family about those who are lazy, and those who made their parents to complain or whatever, just because they didn’t want to work hard. But I guess I’m probably being pretty harsh.

Nevertheless, I made up a little rhyme-saying that fully captures what I’m trying to say, which is that I am an academic snob and should be shot:
“The best of one told do HIS best is often less than the one told to do THE best.”


Oh a lighter note, there was a cute little possum in our trash can last week.